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For those of you who want to do some reading, here
is a list of books that I would recommend to people
considering divorce, going through a divorce, or moving
forward after divorce. Many of these titles are on
the shelf of my Client Library and can be checked out
by my family law clients.
Some of these books may be available at your public
library or through Amazon.com,
often “used”. Frequently, “used”
means “overstock” rather than a previously
owned book.
A. COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE
Collaborative Divorce: the Revolutionary New Way to
Restructure Your Family,
Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life. Pauline
Tesler and Peggy
Thompson. 2006. [See book review at end].
The Collaborative Way to Divorce: the Revolutionary
Method that Results in
Less Stress, Lower Costs, and Happier Kids – Without
Going to Court! Stuart G.
Webb and Ronald D. Ousky. 2006.
B. GENERAL DIVORCE TOPICS
Between Love and Hate: A Guide to Civilized Divorce.
Lois Gold. 1992.
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce. A. Trafford. 1982.
The Dance of Anger. Harriet Lerner. 1985.
For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered. E.
Mavis Hetherington and John Kelly. 2002.
Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life. Sam Margulies.
2001.
The Good Divorce. Constance Ahrons. 1994.
In a Different Voice. Carol Gilligan. 1982.
Intimate Strangers: Men and Women Together. Lillian
B. Rubin. 1983.
The Situation is Hopeless, But Not Serious. Paul Watzlawick.
1983.
Too Good to Leave; Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step
Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get
Out of Your Relationship. Mira Kirshenbaum. 1996.
The Two Roads to Divorce. Lenard Marlow. 2003.
You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in
Conversation. D. Tannen. 1990.
C. PARENTING ISSUES
Custody Chaos, Personal Peace: Sharing Custody
with an Ex Who Drives You Crazy. Jeffrey P. Wittmann. 2001.
Difficult Questions Kids Ask (and are too afraid
to ask) about Divorce. Meg F. Schneider and Joan Zuckerberg.
1996.
Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families.
Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown. 1988.
Divorce Is a Grown Up Problem: A Book About Divorce
for Young Children and Their Parents. Janet Sinberg.
1978.
Don’t Divorce Your Children: Children and Their
Parents Talk About Divorce. Jennifer M. Lewis, M.D.
and William A. H. Sammons, M.D. 1999.
The Essential Grandparent’s Guide to Divorce:
Making a Difference in the Family. Lillian Carson.
1999.
Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles
Way. Gary Neuman. 1998.
Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with
an Uncooperative Ex. Julie A. Ross and Judy Corcoran.
1996.
Mom’s House, Dad’s House. Isolina Ricci.
1997 (2nd ed.)
Parenting After Divorce: A Guide to Resolving
Conflicts and Meeting Your Children’s Needs. Philip M.
Stahl. 2000.
Parents Are Forever: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming
Successful Coparents After Divorce. Shirley Thomas.
2004.
’Why Did You Have to Get a Divorce,
and When Can I Get a Hamster?” Anthony
E. Wolf. 1998.
D. AFTER DIVORCE: RESTRUCTURING YOUR LIFE AND YOUR
FAMILY.
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming
Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance and Dreams. Debbie Ford.
1998.
Going It Alone. Robert S. Weiss. 1979.
Life After Divorce: Create a New Beginning. Sharon
Wegscheider-Cruse. 1994.
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends. Bruce Fisher.
1985.
Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an
Extraordinary Life. Debbie Ford. 2001.
Stepfamilies: A Guide to Working with Stepparents
and Stepchildren. Emily B. and John S. Visher. 1979.
Transformational Divorce: A Step-by-Step Action
Plan for Women. Karen Kahn Wilson. 2003.
E. FINANCIAL ISSUES
Making the Most of Your Money. Jane Bryant Quinn.
1991.
Personal Finances for Dummies. Eric Tyson. 1994.
F. BOOK REVIEW by Yvonne Homeyer
COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE: The Revolutionary New Way
to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues,
and Move on with Your Life.
By Pauline Tesler, J.D. and Peggy Thompson, Ph.D.
2006 Harper Collins
For couples who want a respectful, non-adversarial
divorce, focused on moving forward and restructuring
the family, rather than fighting and blaming, the groundbreaking
collaborative divorce movement offers hope. Both authors
are preeminent in the field of collaborative family
law practice - Pauline Tesler as a collaborative attorney
and Peggy Thompson as a divorce coach. In Collaborative
Divorce, each spouse is represented by an attorney
who has pledged to advocate for the client’s
interests but not at the expense of the other spouse
or the children. The authors also address the interdisciplinary
possibilities offered by the collaborative process,
which recognizes that divorce is more than a legal
issue - that clients come into the divorce process
with emotional and financial issues that also need
to be resolved. The collaborative team can be expanded,
if the clients so choose, to include a child specialist,
divorce coaches, and a financial neutral. Tesler and
Thompson explore how each team member adds value to
the collaborative process. They also discuss frankly
the collaborative attorneys’ pledge to withdraw
from further representation if their clients do not
reach agreement, and reveal how this commitment to
withdraw enhances the collaborative process when attorneys
are exclusively focused on settlement. For anyone contemplating
divorce, Tesler’s book is an invaluable resource.
For attorneys, it provides insight into a process that
puts the client in the center and places control of
the divorce outcome in the client’s hands.
Yvonne Homeyer, J.D.
Center for Collaborative Law and Mediation
1200 South Big Bend Blvd.
St. Louis, MO 63117
314.863.3321
www.stlouisfamilylaw.com
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