For those of you who want to do some reading, here is a list of books that I would recommend to people considering divorce, going through a divorce, or moving forward after divorce. Many of these titles are on the shelf of my Client Library and can be checked out by my family law clients.

Some of these books may be available at your public library or through, often “used”. Frequently, “used” means “overstock” rather than a previously owned book.

Collaborative Divorce

  • Collaborative Divorce: the Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life. Pauline Tesler and Peggy Thompson. 2006. [See book review at end].
  • The Collaborative Way to Divorce: the Revolutionary Method that Results in Less Stress, Lower Costs, and Happier Kids—Without Going to Court! Stuart G. Webb and Ronald D. Ousky. 2006.

For more information about collaborative divorce, visit the web site of the Collaborative Family Law Association, an organization of collaboratively trained attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial professionals in the St. Louis area. CFLA is NOT a law firm. Its members all have separate practices in their respective fields. Yvonne Homeyer is a founding member and current Vice President of CFLA.

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals is also a resource for information about Collaborative Divorce. Yvonne Homeyer is a member of the IACP.

Online Resources

General Divorce Topics

  • Between Love and Hate: A Guide to Civilized Divorce. Lois Gold. 1992.
  • Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce. A. Trafford. 1982.
  • The Dance of Anger. Harriet Lerner. 1985.
  • For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered. E. Mavis Hetherington and John Kelly. 2002.
  • Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life. Sam Margulies. 2001.
  • The Good Divorce. Constance Ahrons. 1994.
  • In a Different Voice. Carol Gilligan. 1982.
  • Intimate Strangers: Men and Women Together. Lillian B. Rubin. 1983.
  • The Situation is Hopeless, But Not Serious. Paul Watzlawick. 1983.
  • Too Good to Leave; Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship. Mira Kirshenbaum. 1996.
  • The Two Roads to Divorce. Lenard Marlow. 2003.
  • You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in Conversation. D. Tannen. 1990.

Parenting Issues

  • Custody Chaos, Personal Peace: Sharing Custody with an Ex Who Drives You Crazy. Jeffrey P. Wittmann. 2001.
  • Difficult Questions Kids Ask (and are too afraid to ask) about Divorce. Meg F. Schneider and Joan Zuckerberg. 1996.
  • Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families. Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown. 1988.
  • Divorce Is a Grown Up Problem: A Book About Divorce for Young Children and Their Parents. Janet Sinberg. 1978.
  • Don’t Divorce Your Children: Children and Their Parents Talk About Divorce. Jennifer M. Lewis, M.D. and William A. H. Sammons, M.D. 1999.
  • The Essential Grandparent’s Guide to Divorce: Making a Difference in the Family. Lillian Carson. 1999.
  • Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way. Gary Neuman. 1998.
  • Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex. Julie A. Ross and Judy Corcoran. 1996.
  • Mom’s House, Dad’s House. Isolina Ricci. 1997 (2nd ed.)
  • Parenting After Divorce: A Guide to Resolving Conflicts and Meeting Your Children’s Needs. Philip M. Stahl. 2000.
  • Parents Are Forever: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming Successful Coparents After Divorce. Shirley Thomas. 2004.
  • ’Why Did You Have to Get a Divorce, and When Can I Get a Hamster?” Anthony E. Wolf. 1998.

After Divorce: Restructuring Your Life & Your Family

  • The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance and Dreams. Debbie Ford. 1998.
  • Going It Alone. Robert S. Weiss. 1979.
  • Life After Divorce: Create a New Beginning. Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse. 1994.
  • Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends. Bruce Fisher. 1985.
  • Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life. Debbie Ford. 2001.
  • Stepfamilies: A Guide to Working with Stepparents and Stepchildren. Emily B. and John S. Visher. 1979.
  • Transformational Divorce: A Step-by-Step Action Plan for Women. Karen Kahn Wilson. 2003.

Financial Issues

  • Making the Most of Your Money. Jane Bryant Quinn. 1991.
  • Personal Finances for Dummies. Eric Tyson. 1994.

Book Review by Yvonne Homeyer

COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life.
By Pauline Tesler, J.D. and Peggy Thompson, Ph.D.
2006 Harper Collins

For couples who want a respectful, non-adversarial divorce, focused on moving forward and restructuring the family, rather than fighting and blaming, the groundbreaking collaborative divorce movement offers hope. Both authors are preeminent in the field of collaborative family law practice—Pauline Tesler as a collaborative attorney and Peggy Thompson as a divorce coach. In Collaborative Divorce, each spouse is represented by an attorney who has pledged to advocate for the client’s interests but not at the expense of the other spouse or the children. The authors also address the interdisciplinary possibilities offered by the collaborative process, which recognizes that divorce is more than a legal issue—that clients come into the divorce process with emotional and financial issues that also need to be resolved. The collaborative team can be expanded, if the clients so choose, to include a child specialist, divorce coaches, and a financial neutral. Tesler and Thompson explore how each team member adds value to the collaborative process. They also discuss frankly the collaborative attorneys’ pledge to withdraw from further representation if their clients do not reach agreement, and reveal how this commitment to withdraw enhances the collaborative process when attorneys are exclusively focused on settlement. For anyone contemplating divorce, Tesler’s book is an invaluable resource. For attorneys, it provides insight into a process that puts the client in the center and places control of the divorce outcome in the client’s hands.

Yvonne Homeyer, J.D.
Center for Collaborative Law and Mediation
225 South Meramec Ave.
Suite 821
St. Louis, MO 63105

314.863.3321 ▪ 225 South Meramec Avenue ▪ Suite 410 ▪ St. Louis, Missouri, 63105